What I did instead of studying

Here is what happened when I didn't want to study.

A few years ago my sister-in-law gave me these hilarious ties for my Cats. Somehow I have not stopped and put them on the girls. Then yesterday all the sudden in the middle of when I should have been studying it felt like the right time to do such a thing. So here is Haku wearing the floral and Kala with the stripes. Look at the cuteness!!

I took a risk

This past weekend I helped out with my Counseling Program's "Review Weekend". This is where all the applicants for the upcoming class came and were interviewed both individually and in a group. It is a BIG DEAL to be invited to this event and this weekend is A MAJOR PRODUCTION!!.

I was invited last year but took a risk and did NOT attend this weekend last year when the Counseling program invited me. After this weekend I now realize that was a huge risk because this weekend is really what this program is about. It's a way for them to see you and experience you in RELATIONSHIP. I feel more lucky and honored now that they took a risk/chance on me. In a one hour skype interview thought I would be a fit for this program.

I was so privileged to be apart of this weekend, and see what I missed last year.

It was neat to be on a panel where applicants asked some great questions. It was really fascinating to hear from my counseling friends how they answered their questions. It was good to be reminded of how much has happened in these past 10!! months WOW! Lots has happened.

I am so thankful this program accepted me.

I am so thankful for what taking risk's can bring.

A Found Score!!!!

Ok so I really should not be blogging right now. I should be reading, studying, or reading. But this is super exciting ... well at least this is for me.

Many times when I watch a movie, or show I will hear a score in the background that I want to have. I can't tell you how many times I have tried to find certain Movie scores to only find a soundtrack with every song from the movie but the scores.

About 4 years ago while watching a "sex in the City" episode I heard the most amazing music playing. The score gave me chicken skin. I have googled & searched for this score for 4 years. I have not been able to find anything. What I have done is played this part of the episode over and over so I could burn the song in my brain.

Then Oscar night I was watching the foreign films nomination and this movie called "Il Divo' was playing and all the sudden I heard it!!! I heard the score again!!

These past couple days I have been thinking about it and have searched, and finally today after much web searching, after 4 years. I have FOUND IT!!!

The song is "Pavane" which I think the name itself is so pretty. I have searched it's meaning and it means "a certain type of dance from the 16th & 17th century

Click on the link and enjoy a score much searched for.

Things to share

Do you ever have things happen that if you told people they may not believe you?

Well these sorts of things seem to happen to me all the time.
First example last week on thursday morning while driving to school I was singing songs from musicals and I thought I need to see a Musical again soon, cause I just love them. I was recalling my memory of seeing Les Miserables with a dear friend and how the roof fell and we had exit the building. We got to see Les Miserables twice that summer due to this accident. I was thinking of how much I love that musical. The though left and then went on my day. Then in Class on Thursday my proff started talking about Les Miserables and a song called " I dreamed a dream" I was shocked, but what I am I suppose to say, " YEah I was just singing my favorite song from that musical this morning "Castle on the cloud". I wanted to share the irony but often I think people may not believe me.

Second Example: On friday I had been thinking of my dear friend and former roomie from Hawaii, Joanna. I was thinking about her a lot that day. That night I had a dream about her having a baby. I had called her on friday to let her know I was thinking of her. I kept having her on my mind. Sunday she calls me and we get to chatting... wanna guess what she told me? .... She is going to have a baby! After I screamed I pondered now do I tell her that I just had a dream about her having a baby? Will she think I am crazy? I went ahead and told her anyways. She thought it was weird but neat that I had that dream. I have to admit I do wonder does she think I was made that up, cause that would make for a great story.

Third Example: This part will be bunch of little examples. Like the people I thought of over the weekend that called or texted me. A couple of conversations with friends here in MAC world that came out loud in class today. the way I could just feel my neighbours being irratated with my cats being outside to finding out from another neighbour yesterday they really are irratated.

So not sure what all this means, but thought I should write it out since I find myself holding back more than often from saying, "I was just thinking that"


Other fun tid-bits that have happened to me that make me smile:
- Yesterday I went running and these two old ladies were walking ahead of me. They saw me coming and parted one on each side of the side walk then they started cheering me on "GO, you can do to, Way to go" I thanked them and smiled all the way home. I hope someday when/if I get old I will be more fearless and say things to strangers and enjoy long walks with friends.
- I went home Easter Sunday with 3 potted flowers
- Enjoyed watching Miley Cyrus try to act in her new movie
- Learning dance moves to Justin Beiber song "One TIme"
-Getting a new hair cut and how much people do notice your face... it's been fun to hear everyone's reaction I have to admit I was not expecting that.
- friends sharing impersonations

With my Soul

A couple weeks ago I was having a particularly hard day and out of no where this Hymn came to my head quite loudly, "It is well with my soul" (in specific it was the Crystal Lewis version which I used to own)
I even started to sing it out loud in my car driving home. Then I paused, that is so weird, It is SO not well with my Soul!!!
Why am I singing this Hymn? I hardly ever have Hymn's running through my head, there are a few on repeat in my head but this is not one of them.

Then just last week this Hymn came across my path

Sunday I was visiting a church and then what song did we sing... none other than "It is well with my soul". I was once again struck by this Hymn. Every time this Hymn in sung in the company of others I can't stop my body from breaking out in "Chicken Skin". But even still I found myself getting bothered by the wording.
I know the History of this hymn and maybe I have not been impressed with it since learning the history. The writer of this Hymn if you already don't know first lost his son to scarlet fever, then lost his business, then lost all four of his daughters in a ship sinking. And how his wife survived the ship wreck is a tragic story. But maybe this is where I am different from MOST people who JUST LOVE THIS hymn. I found myself on Sunday while singing, wondering how much we would sing this song if he had wrote everything the same but instead the Chorus would be sung, "My soul it is heavy", "It is not well with my Soul" .
I am not trying to say that the writer of this hymn did not have a heavy soul. I think he had to have many a days that trying to write/sing that hymn was more than difficult.
I think it just hits me in a different way. I am not impressed with Christians who can't mourn, lament, and struggle. I think I am getting more bothered with Christians needing to tie a "But God is Good" bow onto to tragedy.

Maybe I am just not getting it?
Maybe I am missing the Point?

What if when Tragedy hits I don't/can't sing this Hymn or believe it?
What then?

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Evening

Right now I sit OUTSIDE! I have been inside most of this day. As I left the clinic tonight walking to my car I said out loud to myself, "What a gorgeous evening". I got home and decided I would sit outside since it's NOT freezing out and soak up this still quiet evening outside. I would have loved to have taken a walk but since it is so late I have opted for sitting on my back lanai with snacks, a book, and some soft tunes.

So then it just felt like time for blogging.

Since the last blog post I have found out that I Failed that Test I was studying for. Today I wonder can I really do this Master's Level Education?. It really is a miracle that I am here. I think people think I am just being hard on myself but the truth is school has never come easy for me. I have struggled with academics my entire life and now more than ever I want this world to work for me, please!

I am thankful for a quick encouraging phone call from my cousin, and a few chats with friends.

Well stay tuned for if I really complete this thing, this Maters of Art in Counseling.

This week I had my first intake, my meeting with a client by myself. It was with a teen.

The words I am using to describe that session is... "Beautifully Intense".

I love teens and getting to work with this client confirmed that in me.

I was explaining it to fellow classmates as a scene from the movie"Hook". There is this scene where this kid walks up to Peter Pan he mushes his face around and says "there you are Peter". Coming out of that room I think I found myself in this counseling setting. It felt great!

So Lani's life continues to be ... many things

Glad to have a some time to be still, quiet, and to sit outside and enjoy the cool night air

Boys and No emotion

Yesterday was a crazy day.

I did not feel well and was full of many FEELINGS. Go figure!

After trying to decided if I was depressed or not while sitting at my work study job. Two boys from my class, Joel & Alec came by. They stopped and said, "looks like death has come over you". I told them how stressed out I was about this exam. Then we stopped talking about my emotions and feelings. And started talking Exam review. They helped me for 2.5 hours. We got things done, accomplished, and studied. It was so nice to put touchy feely stuff on the shelf and just have no emotions.

These boys were so helpful, I started feeling better right after.

Alec was so helpful,kind, and encouraging. I was so blessed by them. And then Alec told me how he gets through class, and studying. I found out we learn they same way.

I thanked Alec, and he said "Lani you would do the same for me". I said " I'm not sure I will be able to do that with these classes". Then he said "Well then maybe you will help me someday in some other way".

I am thankful for times when Boys do no emotion and get things done