Pathology ...

Currently my occupation is: Substance Abuse Counselor. But honestly I am more of a case manager/social worker.
I work with people that are addicted to some form of Narcotic. One thing I can tell you is the stories these clients have astound me. Intense disruption is just part of their everyday life.
After sitting with 30 some clients I find that these Ct's are incredibly insightful, introspective, and can read people EXTREMELY Well.

Pathology. I hardly ever used this word in my pre-graduate life.  Now I find I say it and use it in sentences often.  So what does Pathology mean?  Well wikipedia defines it as "the precise study and diagnosis of a disease".  But I have learned to think of Pathology as something that is not so precise.  Last week I asked my friend Cheryl how she would define it.  Cheryl said "I would say Pathology is what gets in the way of our relationships". Well Said!
So since being at the Methadone clinic I have developed a little bit of a theory about Pathology. My Theory is: The more Pathology you were around growing up = the better/quicker you are to read people.  It is amazing how well clients can read people including me.
These clients did not attend training's or take classes.  Many did not finish high school, but they can read you in a snap. Many of them grew up in homes where they had no idea what mom would be like, if she would even remember to feed them.  They have had to learn how to read people so they can protect themselves and be ready for anything that comes their way.  They don't trust me. They feel hopeless to ever being free of drugs.  Mom still takes drugs, Dad is dead from overdosing, their siblings are in the same boat, their friends are in jail.  One client told me that out of the 8 friends they had only one is still alive.   I think Drug Addiction is a lonely addiction... maybe that's true of any addiction.
The other day a Client who has attempted rehab several times feels that they will never be able to be with out Methadone.  They are tired of talking about it.  I know the feeling. I once was venting to one of my beloved Professors in Seminary about this very thing. I feel like I have talked about my wounds and have struggled to know if I have really healed? I mean how many times can I talk about the same struggles, hurts, and pains?  How many years have I spent in counseling now? ... ugh
His kind reaction were these soft words, "Lani Healing happens in layers, like an onion". "You did talk, grieve, and heal for that time, but because you heal in layers God will bring another layer to surface to talk, grieve, and heal from".  
So I told this client that very same thing that was told me.  And the client said that neatest thing.
Client: "Maybe like an onion we have to shed some tears when those layers come off, and maybe if you don't cry maybe your not really peeling off layers of an onion".
Me: (tears welling up in my eyes) "That is so powerful... ".

Maybe we have to peel at our pathologies to find out where more healing and grieving can begin.