I awoke on my own at 6a.m. my heart was racing today is the day!! Today is february 2.2.10 my first day to "be in the clinic". I hugged and kissed both my kitties. Turn on some jams, took my time getting ready. I dressed up for the first time in a long time. It was weird to be dressed up going to RTS. I started to get anxious. Why am I so anxious? I go to RTS almost everyday why am I so anxious? oh yea because something new and BIG is happening today. I put on my "wow" heels and head out to a new day of something I have longed to be doing for a long time. As I drive to school I am thinking this is crazy, every time I look down and see my skirt, heels, I get nervous and excited, this is really happening. I get to school and am thrilled to see faces of friends who are embarking on this journey with me. I go to my first class of Spring Semester, Couples Counseling. The classroom seems to be filled with excitement (or maybe just in my mind) we are all together again for a new semester. Couples counseling was like walking on hot coals. I was awe struck by my professor's passion for this topic, he was on FIRE, and it was amazing everything that was coming out of his mouth. I could not type fast enough.
then lunch with Cheryl where laughter and incredible words were exchanged.
then visits from other friends at my work study job. A simple moment with Elizabeth that pulled at tender parts of my heart. (Yes all of this happens in one afternoon here at RTS, its quite common for me to go through a range of emotions in just a few hours)
Then I ran over to the library to say hi to Lizzie and see what time she wants to hang out before our first group supervision. We had a picnic party out in the courtyard, so I went to that and saw and talked to a few people and realized I think this place is feeling more comfortable. Had some yummie food, then met up with Lizzie and hung out for a while.
Then we decided to go hang out in the break room, Lizzie went to get her bag from the library and she told me she would meet me there. I starting walking down this hall that I have walked down too many times to count, but yet today it feels different I am walking to the clinic, the CLINIC!! and then I run into Cheryl real quick, it was less than 2 seconds but i won't forget it. How neat that my walk to the clinic I see the smile on the face of a dear friend.
Then standing at the back door to the clinic I hoping i would not forget the code, but of course I do. Then from behind me comes Zach and I was like I knew I was going to do it wrong, he says, "you will have plenty of time to get it right". I walk into the clinic and I see the faces, of some great wonderful second years. Quiana, April, Kim, Rachel, I walk into the break room and all I can do is smile. I put my stuff down and try and find my cubbie. Then they all to leave to see clients and I am alone for a little while in the break room.
A flood of emotions comes over me. I am standing in the break room of my MY counseling program. I looking at pictures of people I know, I am seeing computers I will work on, couches that will hold memories of my own. I am actually in a counseling program! I made it. I start to tear up a little. Many of you know how many schools I applied to, visited, got rejected from. And I can't express to you what yesterday felt like.
Then we had group supervision and I am sitting among others who have such a passion for people. Fellow classmates who have such incredible stories that I get to hear. I love my group supervisor, and I feel actually too lucky to be able to have Roger. My first group supervision was incredible I am still thinking of things he talked about and we talked about. I feel safe in this group and that feels GREAT!!
hung out with a few 2nd years for a little bit, and then went home, sat down and let the day and it's memories wash over me.
Pinch me, is it really happening?!
This post kind of took my breath away, friend. It's really happening!
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