So throughout the day I have had a little bit of nervousness. What if she does not come back? what if she cancels? What am I doing here? What?
The break room in the clinic was filled to the brim. I counted one time 15 people in the room and this break room is not a large room. I went got my DVD prep it for recording, came back into the break room and told fellow classmates, "This is my first DVD!! this DVD will hold my first session ever on it!"
Olivia is my 2nd year who is co-counseling with me, and she is just wonderful. We talked about what the evening could look like. As the hour drew near my heart began to race. Secretly a part of me wanted to just leave, but where would I go?... I could feel my self getting worked up with excitement and nervousness. I told Olivia I just need to step outside of the break room and be quiet for a little bit. So a few short min's in the hallway then she comes out and says, "Ready?" Am i ready? inside my head I am thinking NO, but I say yes, I go press record and we walk to get my client.
I was so nervous at first, so many thoughts flooded my mine. I think I even had a little smirk on my face. I kept looking at my client thinking, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING, I am not watching, I am sitting in this chair, I am not on the couch!
It went better than I thought it could have.
So it begins, I will never again have my first client. This journey takes a turn and now starts a new course. It is a course I am unfamiliar with. I am still not quite sure what I think of this new course. What I do know is at one point during the session I forgot I was with a client in a counseling center. I deeply yarned to know more. In my head I kept thinking more tell me more.
Yet even in this evening of things going better than planned my own insecurities were there to remind me of things.
Ok new course ahead I know you hold things that will shock me, scare me, break me, excite me, bless me, and maybe mold me into someone
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