I am in Seminary

Today in my theology class in our small group we discussed when and how we know one is saved....for an hour.

I really am in Seminary

A Walk to Remember

Yesterday I was getting things done around the house and realized it was near my regular time for my daily walk/jog. I have been jogging everyday because I am going to do the "Race For The Cure" this Sunday. My legs were sore from running twice on Saturday (i know it was crazy). So Sunday evening I felt like not going out, but I thought it might be good for my legs to walk some.

So got ready and headed out it was a nice walk then near the end of my walk I found some sticks for a project I am working on for school so I picks up more than a handful and continued my walk. I passed by this lady and we both said the normal walking "hi" I then found some branches I wanted to use so I stopped and started to try and pull them off, when I heard "you must be working on a craft or something" I turned around and saw that it was the lady I had just passed. I told her I was in grad school and getting free things for a project I was working on. She asked if she could help me so I was like ok. I handed her my sticks to hold while I pulled on the branches. Then she and I started walking. It was one of those weird moments where you are not sure if this stranger wants to walk with you or not, so like we had known each other just started walking and talking. (ok here is where it gets exciting)

So she began to tell me when she was in grad school she had to do the same thing and as she talked about her project it was fascinating to hear how she used the theme from the Wizard of Oz. I then asked what she got her masters in and where, .......SHE GOT HER MASTERS FROM UH (University of Hawaii) I stopped walking and was like "NO WAY I just moved from Hawaii". Her name is Robin and she is probably the age of my mom. Her husband was stationed there he worked for the coast guard. We then walked and talked so fast. We shared our memories of food and the places we love in Hawaii. I kept saying how crazy, how fun, and how neat this was. Robin said, "I truly believe life is full of fun accidental happenings ". We exchanged Hawaiian words, and how when we say them here we get crazy looks. It was so neat. Then so quickly it was my street to turn off on. She said "it's been so neat to meet you and talk if you ever need anything feel free to let me know." So she gave me her her e-mail address cause she said i don't want to impose, and if I ever needed anything or to "talk story" she would love to. We both left saying "Aloha" .

As I walked the .2 miles to the house I thought to myself "and I wasn't even going to go out for a walk today, God sometimes you are just pain cool."

It was a walk to remember

Single Saturday

Yesterday was quite a wonderful day. It started out with my neighborhood having a community garage sale. So I grab a big bag and walked my neighborhood. I meet so many people on my block which was really nice, and yesterday was a beautiful day so I enjoyed my walk. I spent $10 and got quite a few neat fun things. Plus I got in about 2 and half hours of walking.

Then i went to my closest mall and it has every store you could think of. It was neat just to walk around, I then found a salon where I got my eyebrows waxed for $8.

I went into Macy's and thought I just want to go look at the Martha Section. Ok if you know anything about me you know I love LOVE Martha Stewart for some reason. So I found the section and it was HUGE much bigger than the one in Hawaii. I was like "O my goodness O my gosh" I was like giddy and must have actually been saying my thoughts out loud cause this sales clerk said you must love that pan, can I help you? I then persisted to tell her how much I just love Martha Stewart and I have never seen a section this big. I swear I was grinning from ear to ear, cause the lady kept listening to me go on and on. I then walked around the section just one more time before leaving with happiness in my heart. As I went down the escalator I thought today would have been much more fun if my mom was shopping with me. I then turned and saw two mothers and daughter walking and talking, it made me sad and made me miss my mom and wish she wasn't so far away. My mom is a great person to shop with, we do shop differently but it's always a good time.

I then went to a outside pumpkin patch, the cool FAll breeze blowing on my skin felt great as I picked out my little pumpkins. These teenagers were helping me because it was their fundraising for a missions trip so that made me feel good about buying pumpkins.

I then went for a evening Fall jog and found my heart just really enjoying my Single Saturday!

The evening ended with a frozen pizza, a large green salad a movie and a few phone calls with friends.

*The pictures are of the pumpkins I got yesterday and glittered today. I have been wanting to do this for weeks and I finally did and I think thy are beautiful, they are even more pretty in person!*

Random thing I like about MEN

I was on my way driving into my part-time job today and at a stop light I saw things that I do like about the male gender. So I thought I would come up with a list.

I like it when guys have their collars up right on t-shirts

I like it when guys wear light blue collared shirts

I like the smell of some cologne which is a different smell from perfume

I like the sound of a group of men laughing

How sunglasses do a wonder for most men's faces

The way blue jeans and t-shirt just is a good look for most guys

They like simple: simple answers, simple dress, simple food, simple fun

Do this in Remembrance of Me

So sunday before last I went to church and we had communion. Something stood out to me like never before. The pastor keep saying the word remember, remembrance and for some reason those words stood out to me more than usually. Jesus said something to the extent of "every time you eat and drink remember me". Well I don't know about you but I eat and drink something many times in a day, so every time EVERY TIME I do I am to remember you, Remember your life, your messages, your love for the poor, your hard journey, your DEATH, your Resurrection. Every time... so in essence you are asking me to remember you Jesus every time I do such normal regular everyday things. As I watched many people go up and take of what we call "Communion" it was this rush of feeling all over me, why then do we tell ourselves to move on or forget others that have died. I think what happened in those moments that sunday was the feeling of Jesus saying it is ok to remember those that you have lost and loved, in fact remembering something about them everyday .... there is something sweet to the soul to allow oneself that joy of Remembering. Loss and death have been things on my mind lately due to people, situations, and months that surround this blog. I have been thinking so much of how much beauty is in remembering, saying, telling, sharing, things remembered.

Why do we rush things, " move on" " they are in a better place" "they are not here they are in heaven" " I'm fine" "it was God' timing"

Why don't we just take time to remember as often as we want or like, if Jesus is asking me to remember HIS DEATH I think there truth and beauty in remembering others whom are not with me anymore on earth.

To anyone who is reading this I hope you remember and never forget

Keep Ya Head Up

So there is a song my 2Pac that I love but I have been listening to it recently and have found it to be well..... Not so true

The song is called "Keep Ya Head Up" maybe you heard it in the movie "Freedom Writers"

The chorus goes: Keep ya head up, oooo child things are gonna get easier ooooo child things are gonna get brighter

So really things are gonna get easier, things are gonna get brighter.

I have to believe that 2Pac was speaking about Peace, Hope and well a better day. While my days in Seminary are not anything like I am sure they were for 2Pac I wonder if he really believed these lyrics or if they are just lyrics.

My experience so far in life is that things don't get easier, or brighter, they may be moments but I think that Life has some pretty rough, tough, and crappy things ahead.

But I can ... KEEP MY HEAD UP!! that is for sure

One of the things that they teach about in 12 steps is the idea of "Fake it till you Make it" while I think this is hard to do I think sometimes this is our only option. So I can KEEP My head up

I am not trying to bring a black cloud on your day. But there is something to be said for TRUTH about life.

I will continue to be me and have bouts of laughter, fun, and enjoy some beauty of things around me, I must KEEP MY HEAD UP

Prophetic Pondering

Last week was quite the week, full to the brim of everything life, studying, papers, and emotions. I share this blog not to sound of one full of anything really profound. You might be reading my blogs and find that I run-on and have incorrect spelling but I ask that you look past that these logs of blogs will tell my story for whatever my story is to share that day.

We are in personal counseling as we go through this program. I am seeing a counselor who graduated from this program 4 years ago. With my feelings of being in a difficult place I informed my counselor of my feelings.. he said "sounds like culture shock to me" I must have sighed relief because he asked "How does that sound?" I was said "relief" because I have done this before, I have experienced culture shock many times in my life so I know hey though it's hard I can do this I lived through it before.

I then got up the next morning and checked my e-mail. There was a e-mail from my mother titled "Praying for you - thoughts on culture shock" I got chicken skin just reading it, I dared not open it for fear I would cry (Last week I cried like 3 times a day) then later I opened it ... and here are my mothers words,

Hi sweetie,

Praying for you as you continue to grow! I had a thought in the night that what you experiencing sounds like culture shock. It’s like when missionaries go overseas, they are so excited to see God put it all together to get there. Then they get there and after the initial,” isn’t this great” then the culture shock and culture stress visits them and they begin to see and experience the difficulties and the things that are not so great!

So as I reflected on your experience I thought, of course, Lani life is now a whole new culture with a new place, new way of living your life and certainly a new schedule etc. So could be your adjustment time. Culture shock is normal for us, I went thru it when we had been here a few months too-all I wanted to do was go back to the way life was in Dallas. But, then when I really thought about it-I thought no, this is best for now. However, I had to give myself time to adjust. It did get better!

Prayed for you during your counseling session as I was up and praying! Love, Mom

How amazing God used two people in my life to tell me the same thing. I think this was a prophetic thing and it helped me to feel a little of God's love surround me.