A night of feasting

Tonight ...
Tonight there was a viola played in a Urban Garden

Tonight there was a practice of a big event for tomorrow in a garden
Tonight the I saw my dear friend wear heels for the first time, Green heels!!

Tonight there was a beautiful sunset
Tonight there was good wine

Tonight there was deliciously rich yummy tasty food
Tonight there was laugher
Tonight there was tears

Tonight stories from long ago to recent days were shared
Tonight a man spoke of such kindness, grace, strength of a man named Dwayne who was the husband of the bride.  His words were with deep thought, remembrance and love.  His words honored the man he was, the friend he was, and the husband he was.  His words spoke to the beauty of his blushing bride who sat next to him in such peace and stillness.  His words were heard, and they will not be forgotten.  He is a man who is to be my dear Friends' husband.  Who is this man? What Groom takes time to remember...? What Groom brings into his rehearsal dinner the memory of his brides first love? This Man... this man whom is marrying my friend tomorrow...
Tonight was Cheryl Wood and Larry Ver Hoef's Rehearsal

Tomorrow they will marry...

Singleness

I have wanted to blog about this for months and finally feel that I have some words about it

So I googled single and here is the wikapedia definition of single.

 In legal definitions for interpersonal status, a single person is someone who is not in a relationship or is "unmarried".

Both single and unmarried people may participate in dating rituals and other activities to find a long-term partner or spouse. However, in some cases single people are not interested in marriage, domestic partnership, or other types of formal, committed relationships. People may remain single for a variety of reasons, including: financial and emotional or physical health issues, stress in the family, time constraints, education, career, personal preferences, advanced age, social fears or love-shyness, and even living in a society or locality where there aren't enough people of the sex one is attracted to.^[1][2] Certain careers and positions require that people remain single. Sometimes, this is coupled with celibacy or chastity, either for secular or for religious reasons, such as priests, nuns and monks in certain faiths.

Loneliness can occur for some people who look for but cannot find anyone they might wish to date, especially for those suffering the loss ofcompanionship following divorce or bereavement. Some single people, however, regard and appreciate solitude as an opportunity.

So according to Google only Single people can experience loneliness?

SINGLE...  what does this word really even mean?

I have been thinking a lot more about my singleness this year.  I have been intentional about looking at some things that I have not before.  I have allowed some space for me to grieve my singleness, though I have just scratched the surface it feels different to know that I can.  I have asked others to speak to me about how they experience me as Single.  I have enjoyed my singleness. This program and some things happening in others lives around me has made me look at this area in my life more closely than before.

Some stupid things I hear in being single.
 "Lani do you want to get married?" in case you are wondering the answer: I Have Never Not Wanted to
"Are you dating anyone?" answer: Believe me I will be proud, exciting and thrilled to let everyone in my life know as soon as it happens, I have no desire to keep such things a secret.
"Just be open" i get that people mean well by that, but what does that even mean? and how then am I not open?
"Just enjoy your singleness you'll miss it someday" Easy for others to say, this comment always makes me want to say enjoy your marriage may you relish in it more and more each day that you have someone to witness you life and to call you to more of what you were created to be, that you have someone to take care of you when you are sick, to hang with on a thursday night, someone that knows you inside and out.

Singleness it's just raw sometimes.

Valentines Day

There are so many things I have wanted to write about on my blog but have not been able to have or make the time to sit down and do that.  This semester has been hard to look at. It's been hard to think about all of this ending in a matter of months.  Life is changing and I don't always know how to deal with it.  But I will write more about that soon.

It is Valentines Day.  And it's been quite an enjoyable day.  Yesterday morning I made Banana pancakes for me and my roomie/dear Friend Elizabeth.

They turned out to be quite tasty.  Last year my wonderful Sister-in-law made me a delightful Valentines DAy package and it had the rubber heart shape mold to make these beautiful pancakes.  I think I did a better job on them this year.  

Me and Elizabeth ate our pancakes in bed and had good conversation.

Then last night I got another package from my Sister-in-Law. It was full of such fun crafty things to do an enjoy for Valentines day.  I was able to make candy necklaces for all the girls in my class which was super fun.  She got me so much fun stuff, what I should do is take a picture and add it to this blog.   I love that my sister-in-law thinks of me, and spends time going around getting me fun things to enjoy on Valentines day.  I know it's weird  because I have not had a Valentine in many many years but I enjoy this holiday. Actually I think I just enjoy Holidays because it give me an excuse to decorate, make, or bake something.  I decorated our hallway, which I should post that picture too.  

But I want to thank publicly on my blog my wonderful Sister-in-law who thinks of me and put's together packages for me.  I am touched by your thoughtfulness and kindness.  It meant that world to me to open it and to smile at everything i pulled out.  Warmed my heart. 

I hope that today each of you feels love by someone in some special way!

Happy Valentines Day.

A night in the clinic

So last night there was a big storm.  Clients had canceled and there was only a few of us counseling students left in the clinic and one of our proff's Jim.  After we had evacuated to the hall because the sirens went off we all chilled in the break room.  Jim, Lizzie, Cheryl, Yvette, David, and Me.  I asked Jim what it was like to lose classes and have that transition happening every two years.  Jim said that though it was hard he really enjoys what he does.  He always has trouble liking the first years at first but eventually they grow on him and by the 2nd year he is bonded to them.  In the middle of him talking I realized this was going to be our last time it being just us, just our class hanging out in the break room.  I found myself trying to soak up people's faces, voices, laughs, and the very moment of what my life is right now as a Counseling Student here at RTS.   This place really is something.  These people are quite amazing and they have all impacted my life in some way.  It was a night I want to write down so that I won't forget.  I believe that everyone in my class is going to make some damn good counselors and I know that they will challenge, sit, and care for those with whom they see and journey with.  I am so proud of us and honored to know them and call them my colleagues.  I know I will miss nights like these.  Thank you MAC Class 2011, Thank you RTS, Thank you Jim and Scott. This experience in my life I think will impact me for the rest of my life.

People who are Simply Wonderful

So many of you who read my blog know that my parents are missionaries. My parents have been with Wycliffe for most of my life. But before they were missionaries they served at First Presbytrian Church of Honolulu. They meet people in this church that they have stayed friends with ever since. One person is Linda Jacobs. I used to call her Aunty Lala. She has known me my whole life. Linda has and continues to be such a huge support to my family. Her heart is sincere, kind, and selfless. She has cared for us in ways that people just don't have to. Linda met and married Steve quite a few years ago. Steve and Linda..... Steve and Linda. They are just the kind of people one should have in one's life. They really care and hear your heart. Sometimes they would come to Hawaii for Steve's work, and they would always want to get together with me and catch up on life. I don't know if you follow but see Steve and Linda are my parents friends who.... well love and care for me as well. My Hanai Tutu, was Linda's mom.. I loved my Tutu Cluadine, she was so beautiful inside and out. She loved me like her own grandaughter growing up.

It is thanks to people like Linda and Steve and many more of my parents supporters that I have had the life I have had. Thank you for faithfully believing in my parents and loving our family that way you do.

The story of Christmas. Linda and Steve basically made Christmas possible for our family. God just put my family on their hearts to bless. Then due to someone knowing of a house available to have house sitters in California, Christmas with my family happened. I heard the details a few days after being with my mom & dad. And hearing the story of people and their generous hearts made my heart melt and tears filled my eyes.

Thank you Linda & Steve for all your love and support we are so blessed and lucky to have you in our lives. Thank you also for being faithful readers of my attempt to have a "Blog"

I love you both so very much

My 2010 & My 2011 Words for myself

January -

• Got bronchitis
• Took Sex & Sexuality Class with Sharon Hersh
• Finished Group Counseling Class

February-

• Ran 5k "Lady Track Shack"
  
  
  
• Hard Rock Hotel night with friends
  
  
• Started in the Clinic
• a dinner worth celebrating big things

March-

• Got several new Ct's
• Busy with school taking three Biblical Classes

April-

• Did my case presentation
• Helped with Review weekend for applicants to Counseling program
• My Grandma turned 90!

May-

• Process group's ended
• Couples Counseling Handbook done!
• Girls weekend @ Wood's house
• Porch Night where I feel over in the chair & broke it
• Helped out with Graduation
  
  
• Oviedo 5K

June-

• Healing Metaphor's Class
• 1st Time to got LIVE
• Joel & Kate's Wedding
• Beach/Picnic birthday celebration for EP
• Painting at the house

July-

• Moved into new house
• My Grandma died
• Went to Texas lydia, laura, jesse's wedding festivities
• Mom and Dad come to Florida and help me get settled
• My kitties get their claws removed
• Start wounded heart group with EP
  

August-

• Radical Grace with Steve Brown
• Miranda Bachlorette weekend
• Josh & Miranda's wedding
• My Cousin gives birth to her 2nd boy

September-

• Life shifts a little bit harder
  
• Work every weekend on Our cultural presentation
• Started taking level 2 Belly Dancing
• Surfing with CW for her Birthday

October-

• Went and visited my cousin in IN
• Maid of Honor for Stephanie & Jim's wedding in Chicago
• Started another wounded Heart group with MB
• Made amazing Carmel, chocolate cover apples
• Went to a pumpkin patch with girls
• Saw a snippet of a "Tractor Pull"
• Had a spooky dinner eye balls in tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches
• Passed out candy to kids on Halloween night, loved it

November-

• Class Retreat
• Class Thanksgiving feast!
• Went to the hugest antique fair with CW (got my first cast-iron skillets!)
• Turkey Trot with EP
• Stayed at the Marriott for Thanksgiving
• South Carolina for the weekend

December-

• Mom and Dad surprise us with the news they will be with us for Christmas
• Clinical Review
• Ate Korean food in FL
• My Birthday and Class Christmas party at Tracy's
• California for Christmas
• South Carolina with Pennocks
• New Year's Eve back at the House with EP

2011 Words for Myself

- Vision

- Love

- Kindness

- Care

- Grieve

- Desire

- Honesty

- Hope

- Sadness

Christmas and things I want to remember

December 18 - enjoying listening to my classmates sing Christmas carols. It gave me chicken skin. We actually sounded really good.

Dec 21- The sound of my family's Christmas music playing in the house. The Christmas music I grew up listening to. There is something comforting, relieving about hearing my parents voices downstairs. I love being their daughter, I love been cooked for, planned for, and that my arrival was anticipated with great joy and excitement. I hope I can do all of this for my family someday. I know that these are the things in life that I love and I hate that they are things that don't last.

Dec 22- made Christmas Bread "Yulakaka" with my dad. It is a family recipe that has been passed down from my Dad's side. I got to document each step with my Dad so that I can know how to make it on my own, and I am glad I can say that I made Christmas Bread with my Dad.

Dec 23- Today my whole family is under one roof, and the house is full of the voices and sounds of the people in my life that I LOVE dearly. I hear my niece talking, and playing with her toys. She can speak in full sentences, it's crazy and amazing. Today me and Sofie jumped on the Trampoline and we counted and sang "No more monkey's jumping on the bed". This evening me and Sofie made gingerbread cookies, frosted them, and put sprinkles on them. She was so funny she would frost them and then lick the frosting off. The evening ended with watching Elf as a whole family. Sofie danced to the opening music it was too cute for words. We have not all been together just our family in 4 years. My cup runneth over...

Dec 24- today is Christmas Eve. this morning I made omelette's for everyone in the family. We got to watch "Santa Claus". We made Katie's grandmother cookies. Then we went to Josh and Emily's. Then went Josh and Katie's church Christmas Eve service. It was quite neat to hear the readings and the songs that were sung, what an interesting perspective to tell the story in narrative form, surprisingly not cheesy. Then to the Peter's for some good wine, and food. To finish the evening we had some yummy special egg nog.

Dec 25 It's Christmas morning and my whole family is together. We ate our traditional breakfast with an extra twist of mimosas. It was so fun to watch sofie open her gifts and just enjoy them all so much. Then after presents and stockings were opened we chilled. I played cards Santa Christmas cards with mom and dad, it was really fun.

Dec 26- Had a slow day. Had a good conversation with my mom. Love sharing our souls with each other over important things that matter.

Dec 27- Enjoyed a family debrief of where we are in life. Another slow day. Then tonight we went to my favorite place "Yogurt land" it was a neat night to just be out and about as a family. I loved watching Sofie hold her mom and dad hands as she stood in the middle. She is so funny that munchkin.

Dec 28- Family outing to the Beach. What a neat walk by the sea. I am really going to be on the Pacific and Atlantic this trip. We saw a incredible amount of birds. It was quite amazing. Hard to say goodbye. Enjoyed the time with my family and time to slow down.

Dec 29- Arrive in South Carolina and chill with the Pennock family. Great walk on the beach with Elizabeth. Yummy dinner and great family conversation about "Do people change"?

Dec 30- Went into town and saw Charleston, it was so neat. The most gorgeous old, quaint, houses I have seen in America. Worked on a puzzle. Went for another stroll on the beach.

Dec 31- Left SC, road tripped it with EP, had some great reflection conversations on the year and great anticipations of the year ahead. Watched "Where the Wild Things Are" drank some prosecco, and watched the ball drop. Happy NEW Year.