So I googled single and here is the wikapedia definition of single.
In legal definitions for interpersonal status, a single person is someone who is not in a relationship or is "unmarried".
Both single and unmarried people may participate in dating rituals and other activities to find a long-term partner or spouse. However, in some cases single people are not interested in marriage, domestic partnership, or other types of formal, committed relationships. People may remain single for a variety of reasons, including: financial and emotional or physical health issues, stress in the family, time constraints, education, career, personal preferences, advanced age, social fears or love-shyness, and even living in a society or locality where there aren't enough people of the sex one is attracted to.[1][2] Certain careers and positions require that people remain single. Sometimes, this is coupled with celibacy or chastity, either for secular or for religious reasons, such as priests, nuns and monks in certain faiths.
Loneliness can occur for some people who look for but cannot find anyone they might wish to date, especially for those suffering the loss ofcompanionship following divorce or bereavement. Some single people, however, regard and appreciate solitude as an opportunity.
So according to Google only Single people can experience loneliness?
SINGLE... what does this word really even mean?
I have been thinking a lot more about my singleness this year. I have been intentional about looking at some things that I have not before. I have allowed some space for me to grieve my singleness, though I have just scratched the surface it feels different to know that I can. I have asked others to speak to me about how they experience me as Single. I have enjoyed my singleness. This program and some things happening in others lives around me has made me look at this area in my life more closely than before.
Some stupid things I hear in being single.
"Lani do you want to get married?" in case you are wondering the answer: I Have Never Not Wanted to
"Are you dating anyone?" answer: Believe me I will be proud, exciting and thrilled to let everyone in my life know as soon as it happens, I have no desire to keep such things a secret.
"Just be open" i get that people mean well by that, but what does that even mean? and how then am I not open?
"Just enjoy your singleness you'll miss it someday" Easy for others to say, this comment always makes me want to say enjoy your marriage may you relish in it more and more each day that you have someone to witness you life and to call you to more of what you were created to be, that you have someone to take care of you when you are sick, to hang with on a thursday night, someone that knows you inside and out.
Singleness it's just raw sometimes.
Lani,
ReplyDeleteI thought long and hard about all of this and really wanted to respond with something helpful and not be trite or cliched. Personally, I think you "own" your singleness very well but I can only imagine the longing to be "unsingle" that you have. I ran across the following article and wanted to share it- not as the answer to all your problems or the solution to any of the feelings you have (because I know how much you hate that) but just as something I thought would give you more to think about (I know, more to think about is probably the last thing you want right now with school and everything but hopefully it won't take up too much of your brain power- kind of just something to put on the back burner and let simmer for a while maybe). Anyway, you can find the article here: http://www.scriptoriumdaily.com/2011/03/25/it-is-bad-to-be-alone/
I also found this one to be interesting and possibly worth a read too:
http://www.scriptoriumdaily.com/2011/03/22/the-idolatry-of-the-institution-of-marriage/
Please know that I am sincerely praying that God will reveal to you what you need to know when you need to know it. All that waiting in between is hard though.
-Katie K:
Good food for thought Katie. I appreciate these articles. May not take away the longings, but sure point out some key priorities of biblical principles to both the single and the married Christian.
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