Every Day is Groundhogs day

So every day I live almost the same day.
I get up sometime around 8ish.
8 am: Open blinds, make bed, get dressed, feed cats, walk dogs for 10 min's, eat breakfast, drink one cup of coffee
9 -10: start studying
10- 1: study for 20 to 30 min at a time
1-2: Eat lunch with everyone in the house
2- 6: study for 20 - 30 min at a time, drink half a cup of coffee or something with caffeine
6-7: Eat dinner
7-9: hang with the Van Rooy's or watch a movie
9:30 take shower
10: Get in bed

....and tomorrow I will do it all over again.
Now I have to be honest.  Some day's I don't start studying till 11 or dare I say it, 1 pm. I have had times I decided I needed to take and break and I look at the clock and it's been 2 hours.  It may look like a crazy amount of studying but the time I am actually studying (retaining information) varies.  I have days that I feel like " yes this is great, I can make it".  And other days I feel like " why did I ever think I could do this? I hate I my life".  The one thing that changes everyday is either I feel great or discouraged.
I have these moments that I realize the patheticness of my life.  Want to hear one example?... I am warning you it is lame... I drive my netflixs videos to the post office. I actually get out of my car and walk it into the post office to drop off my one, yes ONE video.  I feel silly. I mean what if someone is sitting in their car watching me?  On top of that I have had moments where I catch myself talking to myself while I do it.  Bless my heart. Oh dear.

I recently watched the movie "127 Hours" which is the true story of the guy who got stuck while rock climbing and had to cut off his own arm.  (I wouldn't recommend for the faint at heart) But I cried while watching it.  I can identity with him.  I feel stuck too.  I feel alone. I feel like I am going crazy some days.  I feel like sometimes I am just trying to survive.  And I think I will leave part of my being in this past month. I often think July early August will be a time on the Calendar that I will never ever look at the same.  This season as well as others has left a mark on my life.

I am living with one of my best friends (Stephanie) parents.  Stephanie and her husband and family dropped off their dogs at the house while they take 4 trips. I have taken on taking care of the dogs.  They have been a form of therapy for me.  I take them out for a 15min walk about every 2 hours.  They need to be let out therefore I have to get out and move around.

Here is a picture of the dogs that I think have helped keep me sane at moments.

One week left of studying ... Test Day August 11.  8-11-11 is a big day in my world.

Some things that have been helpful:  a Friends words on not putting so much pressure on one day knowing that I have other options I am wanted in other places too.
Friends that call and check in on me.  I have decided the day before my test I am going to not study and celebrate by doing some fun things.

I think mostly I look forward to the day I will read this post and be mindful of the journey