Birthday

So I know that it's been almost a week since my Birthday (my Birthday is on December 18) but because this is my blog I am going to still write a little bit about it. So usually my Birthday has always been a special day, most of my life I feel like something magical happens on a birthday that feels different than any other day of the year. It's a day devoted to celebrating your life beginning on earth, it's not about anything else that has happened like a holiday, it's your day to be recognized for being alive. Then when I 26 something happened. Something shifted in me. I started to begin to really dislike my birthday. December is a super busy month for most people including me. It is the month youspend more money than you have, attend more parties than you have, and drink, eat, finish school and be busy busy busy. So 26 I just got plain tired. I didn't want to go out, I didn't want to spend money, I didn't want to do anything extra. And honestly I have felt like this ever since. I often notice that the day before or even the day of my birthday I just get depressed. I am afraid that I won't know how I am really going to feel about the day, if I will want to celebrate big or low key. Last year my parents were with me and I was feeling likenotwanting to do much, so we stayed home and just order pizza and watched a movie.
So this year the day before my birthday I was telling Elizabeth I am not sure what I wanted to really do the next day. I warned her that I might be sad. That week had been a little crazy with a 3 day intensive class and clinic, and being up late the night before, so I was tired. While lying in bed that night I just let myself cry and feel the sadness that right now in life my birthday feels like one more thing to add to the already crazy month of December.I woke up the next morning afraid still of how I would feel but was somehow (through some self-talk) able to be present in my world and really was able to enjoymy birthday. And thanks to good friends it really was a great day. Me andElizabeth went for a quick walk before it started to rain. Ate break fast at Briar Patch with Miranda and Elizabeth, went to April's shower, attended our class Christmas party and they even had a birthday cake for me! and then went to see "the tourist" with Elizabeth. It actually was not to shabby of a day.

So here it goes the last year of my 20's. May it be a good one...