Stop and Enjoy

So about a week ago in conversation with friends on a bench swing it was stated that we have almost made it through our 1st year in this program! My breath was taken away.

A year really?

I have been watching and hearing those that are graduating talk about the excitement and the fear of what lies beyond here.

This place, this place it's not like any other place. I find myself often in conversation trying to figure out how to explain this place to those that aren't here.

I took a break the other day and sat outside and made myself try and soak up this moment. I realize that I have a whole year left here, but I am afraid it will fly by.

I was remembering having a moment my senior year in College where I thought I need to stop and soak in this moment before it passes me by. I went to a balcony that over looked most of the campus and sat at a table. I remember watching people walk around campus. I remember feeling the excitement of JBU and being in college. I remembered how many times I sat at that very spot to study, read, or chat with friends.

I think my moment the other day reminded me of that.

When am I ever EVER going to be in a place like this? Where is there a place that people will LISTEN I mean really LISTEN? Where is there a place where your poker face doesn't work like it used to? Will I have conversation's with people about beauty and mystery?Will it be ok if I have more questions than answers? Will the little things matter? Where will I ever find a place where metaphor's will be honored well? When are people ever going to ask "what are you thinking" and really want to know? Where is Christian lingo not going to work? Will I miss the head nods, the active listening, the questions behind tears, the pushing towards more?

I have this funny feeling I will.

I know I spend a lot of time talking about how hard it is here, I am being for real! It is so hard here on so many levels. Might I, dare I say it, miss it being HARD?

This place is unlike most places. I have met the MOST incredible people. I have had conversations i don't think many have. I have shed an obnoxious amount of tears. I have been able to try on some new ways of life. I have had ROOM!!!