Thankful and weary

There is this word I learned in Graduate school that I find tends to sum up my life and how I feel often.  The word is "Ambivalent" it is feeling two things at once.  So I am ambivalent today.

I am thankful. This past month I was blessed with so many thoughtful cards, gifts, and generous giving from people.  I am thankful for people taking time to write me, call me, or put together a gift and send it to me.  I know those things take time and money.

I am weary.  Many of you know I got a job.  I got a job working as a substance abuse counselor at a Methadone clinic.  I start on Monday and the hours are 5:30 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.  I am so glad to have a way to make some income, and yet I am weary.  I will make less money at this job than I did my first job out of college.  This position does not require a masters degree.  I will only get a few hours to count towards becoming liscened.  But it is a job, and it will be an experience to add to my resume.  I am thankful for having a job after being unemployed for 8 months!
I am once again going to meet new people, learn a new way of how another office runs, and adjust to another change... these thoughts leave me weary and tired.

I have had the opportunity to talk to a few others that have graduated from RTS counseling program and everyone says that the first year out was the hardest.  One friend I talked with said that she believes that there is something Holy in the mundane.  So if she is right than maybe this whole season that has been and seasons that will be is something far greater about ... dare I say it.... Holiness.